The Human Condition - Chapter 7

I sat on a bench once in Frankfurt. For a long time. It was in a park. I thought a lot during those hours that I sat there and watched the people come and go around me. And then I began to write...

* I am embarrassed to sit here and feel afraid, nay, unsafe. I couldn't be in a safer or more relaxed environment. Men across the street fix shingles on the roof as bike riders pedal down the street between us. Women jog along nearby paths and stop near me to stretch. Two children play on the twirly-ride to my right and mothers push baby carriages to my left. The birds are chirping and the clouds protect me from July's harsh sun. It is silly to think that I cannot close my eyes to rest - peacefully.

* My words are like a camera, casting a certain light on my memories; flattening real life onto a black and white canvas. Sometimes I fear that something might be left out, creating an incomplete picture, my framing is off; parts of a memory lost forever. But does it do justice to leave these memories alone, locked away? Can I trust my mind to to leave these precious memories intact, untouched, perfectly preserved until I fetch them again? ...Experience tells me no.

* I am a fortunate human being. I must never forget that. Some days feel less fortunate than others, but I must never lose sight of the truth.

* I am happy and thankful that I have arrived in time for playtime. This park will feel empty when everybody leaves.

* It is beautiful to watch children play. Their world is one I have forgotten. To bear witness to their collaboration, laughter, and imagination is like peeking through an open window, left open for me, by them.

* Why did I have to come to Germany to see a red squirrel? Or to find new toys on a playground? Therein lies the reward of travel, and why I incessantly wander from place to place. Just as I begin to think I've seen it all, I find that I am truly mistaken.

After writing these words on the only small piece of paper that I had on my person, I got up from the bench and crossed a field. I took a blanket from my bag and laid it out. I crawled onto it and fell asleep.

... I had sweet dreams of sitting alone in a park in Frankfurt...