The Human Condition - Chapter 12

The human condition. What is it?

It is what makes us smile, and makes us cry. It is what brings laughter to our faces and pain to our hearts. It is the conflict and harmony of sun, the moon and the stars in our celestial body, and it is a black hole too. It is everything we understand, and everything we don't.

I write about it because we're all the same; we're all seeking some salvation, validation, justification, for why we do the things we do, and why people do what they do too. To help make sense of this puzzle.

Sometimes when I write, things become clearer to me. Sometimes they don't. But writing has become the only way I know how to be honest with myself sometimes, especially when the truth hurts and the words -for fear of compounding the pain- cannot escape my mouth.

My words, they creep silently through my thoughts, down my pen, down my fingers, onto a paper or keyboard, whichever is at hand.

One day my written words will find my voice, and the two will fall in step. That is a day I dream about.

That day is not today tho.

And how I wish it was.

But of course...

When you're walking down a pedestrian street filled with people, such as Rue St Andre des Arts, and you see the crowd parting up ahead, upon realizing that it's in fact a veritable Mini trying to putput its way through the mass, naturally you look into the car to see the crazy person trying to steer their way through this maddness, and naturally you see a little old lady with her two dogs in the car -one in the front seat and one in the back... but of course...

There are no words

I'm sitting here listening to a mixture of Etta James and Nina Simone songs... The room has taken on a relaxed jazzy feel and I'm sitting back and enjoying the music.

Sometimes, there are just those days, where you find yourself speechless and all you can do is find music that somehow resonates with the deep tones of your emotions...

I love those kinds of days. Because I love this kind of music. Especially when I feel this way.

The dangers of being too tired...

I laid in bed last night and I thought about today's posting. I had it all straight in my head. I thought of its closing lines as I drifted off to sleep.

And then I woke up having forgotten every word of it.

I sit here now and wonder what it was that I might have thought of.

I sit here and think about my day yesterday.

It was a good day. I saw good friends, I listened to good music, I sat out on my bedroom balcony for a while and enjoyed the view, and I got creative and wrote a little book.

Perhaps today's posting was going to be about good things.

So in that esprit, today is about the good times, the good people, the good food, and this good world. Go hug someone today. ;)

Around every corner

Around every corner there is a new face.
A new place.
A new view.
A new you.

Around every corner there waits the future.

Confidence in your walking ability is all you need.

Left foot right foot. Left foot again.

Step after step, maybe someday this path will make sense.

Until then, corner after corner, around every corner, juts keep trusting in your steps.

These times are strange

The headlines read one thing, the streets say something else. Most of life is happening behind closed doors these days, as bank accounts fold over themselves like the waves of the sea in the middle of a tempete.

In the middle of it all, America elected Barack Obama. I was on the streets on New York City the following morning, and the spirit in the faces of every person I passed was practically tangible.

I have since left and will be watching America's progress from the other side of this here pond. I know I'll be back, because I want to take part in the great things that are to come, but I'm also feeling fortunate to be overseas, to witness how America's economic downfall truly effects the entire world. I feel that from abroad I have better access to international news, and with that it helps me better understand my place in this world, and how I can help.

I think hope is important these days. I think strength, courage, and wisdom can't hurt either. I hope we all live through these times and look back knowing that we did our best.

The Human Condition - Chapter 11

What is it that seasons us into who we are?

I imagine it begins at birth, from that first gasp of air. From there, we either cry all night or sleep soundly. Eventually we grow eager to walk, but to where?

Who comes and goes from our lives having left lasting impressions?

How do we make sense of it all as adults? When reacting to situations, what's really happening in our psyche? Are we simply mimicking what we've learned? Or are we ever truly being ourselves?

From person to person, different things come out in me. Why is this the case?

Synchronicity

This summer my father picked up Carl Jung's book on synchronicity, and it has since become a regular topic of conversation. And since that point, it has also become an eerie presence in my life.

Synchronicity is the "experience of two or more events which are casually unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner". (Thank you Wikipedia.)

I had often confused this phenomenon with destiny, or serendipity (the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely. Thank you again Wikipedia.)

In an effort to make sense of it all though, I choose chalk down these kinds of experiences to the idea that life is simply letting me know that I'm on the right path, as I watch pieces of the puzzle starting to fall in to place.

Here is what I'm talking about:

Six years ago, a close friend made me a necklace for my birthday; it was a woven hemp collar with a small golem figurine secured in its center. (The figurine came from a class trip to Prague several months earlier. The history of this mythological being comes from Jewish folklore, and as such it was a protector of the Jews in the Prague ghetto against anti-Semetic attacks.)

For years I have traveled across the globe and carried this necklace with me, always hanging it above the doorway in my bedroom; call it a superstition, I always felt like this was my way of warding off bad juju and somehow spiritually protecting myself.

This past summer however, it was the first time I traveled without it. For some reason, as I packed upon leaving one home to move to the next, I placed my golem in a box to store.

That same summer, I saw my friend who had made me that necklace; it was the first time we were too see each other since the necklace was made. Now, three months later, we are due to wed.

It's like life let me know that I wouldn't need the golem to watch over me anymore...

There is another moment which only came to light as of today...

Going back to this summer again, one thing I did bring along with me to my new home was a set of three pictures I have also carried with me everywhere I have gone. It is a set of three photographs of graffiti from Barcelona (one of the most incredible graffiti-decorated cities I've ever seen.) They are encased in small rimless-glass frames, and have been for years.

I tried to remove them from their frames this summer (so as to wall-mount them simply with scotch tape), but two of the three were stuck to the glass and would rip upon any attempt of removal. So I hung the glass frames with duct-tape. (I know, smart.)

One week later, the picture in the frame that could come out fell from the wall. The glass frame broke.

Today I have moved into yet another new home. I live here with three friends, one of whom is my fiancee. As I unpacked, I came across the two of what was left of my three framed pictures, wrapped in my scarf for protection. My fiancee unwrapped the pictures and upon discovering the two frames he said, "Sweet. You can hang them on the two hooks on the wall." At which point he motions over to a spot on the wall where sure enough, there were two hooks hanging perfectly in place to display the two pictures he held in his hands.

It's like life let me know that I'd only have enough space for two of those three pictures soon...

As life progresses it also carries this sense that it is unfolding; as if things happen on a continuum where events are seemingly random, but yet are closely interrelated.

It brings me a great comfort to look at things this way. It makes sense of the truly crazy yet wonderful moments that this world has to offer. It also makes sense of the perceivably mundane and unimportant moments that for some reason you remember upon experiencing some other seemingly everyday commonplace moment; a connection can be sensed.

I am curious to see what other kinds of events come my way as I move forward. It seems that the key to having this kind of relationship with life is to just be yourself, and do as you feel right; because when you drive through the country, mountainside or desert, you can control whether you go right, left or straight, but it is life that controls the obstacles and vistas that line up along your path.

GOBAMA

Two words.

Barack Obama.

America's President.

I'm happy.

Welcome home.

Quitter

Yes, I'm a quitter. I quit things when they're too hard, too easy, and smokable.

It's been almost two weeks now that I'm smoke-free. It's been rather difficult, and there have been times where every inch of my body screamed for just one drag, but I have resisted. I realize that it's just about getting past the moment. Those cravings come in waves and if I can just ride them out, then eventually I'm back to my serene voyage.

I did smoke on Halloween though. I stole drags from cigarettes being smoke around me by friends. But I don't let this get me down. I look at those moments as wind in my sails, allowing me to step further into my non-smoking obscurity. A few drags here, a few drags there, and some alcohol in between, due to that one night this week has been much easier for me than the one before.

So for those of you out there who hope to do what I'm doing, just know that it's all about day by day. If you slip up one day, it's okay. There's always tomorrow to make good on your promise to yourself; just don't forget that you did in fact make a promise to yourself, so don't let those slipups happen too often. ;)

WHOAH..

Oh, wow, sorry my friends! I hadn't realized that so much time had passed since my last post! I'll be doing a series now to try and catch up!