the birth of me

my world was familiar.
comfort around every corner.
nothing new.
in fact, shit's gotten boring.
i knew it was time for change
but damn this rut is sticky
and i can't get a grip.

i must find new footholds.
i must make a new path.
nothing will i recognize.
the customary is out the door.

i throw myself into the black.
thrust my ego into an egoless world.
i sanction this forbidden sanctuary
to save what's left of this sanity.

i won't know my name.
i'll lose sight of my face.
i'll be new to myself
and this province of my life
because the mundane has chased me
and thought it had me cornered
but didn't realize i had my hands down
ready to rip the rug from under our feet.

call me crazy for letting me fall.
call me insane for letting everything go.
call me anything you want.
it falls on the shadow of me.
for i am in new shoes now
and i am steps ahead of myself.
i've died
and this is my rebirth.

this is my resolve.
this is my resolution.
this is my revelation.
and this is my solution.

i was i.
i am now me.

hello world.

vietnam

motor scooters,
iced puddings,
old friends and new.

swimming pools,
rice paddies,
monkeys and zoos.

vietnam a place
once so foreign and strange.
now i shall miss it
for the rest of my days.

i withdraw

to you
the invitation of being by my side
no apologies but i must withdraw.
to the one i thought could be my soulmate,
a love,
a friend,
a wish come true.
i withdraw.
this pain inside,
this emptiness,
this feeling of nothing
despite your everything.
i withdraw.
the skies can only be so blue
before the clouds roll in
desperate to find shelter
solace
sanctuary
into myself i withdraw.
from you.
to me.
withdrawn.
it's been done.
gone.
nothing more to say.

distance

in need of distance

they went their separate ways

one went one way

and the other went the others

never again should the two have met

but this is a world

a big bulbous world

and the distance in the end

only brought them back together.

sacred

nothing is sacred

not anymore

it's ok to steal time

to post a thought

it's ok to stare thru a lens

instead of watching thru your eyes

it's ok to commit to hard drive

instead of your memory

life is being digitalized

we are being reduced to numbers

1 and 0

0 and 1

what a lonely world we're creating

blind

i'm here at your doorstep.
i'm not really sure how.
or why.
but i'm here.
and so the question now becomes:
do i come in?

i don't know.
i really don't know.

limbo

haven't written any new stories.
memories are going stale.
stuck in limbo
between my past and my future.
i hope the present posts my bail.