How can an organism want something that is harmful to it? Specifically, I'm talking about addiction and illness, and ultimately death.
As a smoker, I'm trying to make sense of my cravings for cigarette after cigarette after cigarette. How can my body do this to me? Isn't it wired for survival?
I learned once that you cannot leave too much food out for a labrador retriever because they will eat themselves to death, literally. I can relate somehow; I also seem to lack this ability to stop when I'm ahead.
I would like to quit smoking. Rather, I would like to rid myself of the cravings I have for them; no matter how much I give in, it only leaves me feeling more enslaved. For every cigarette, I want another, and for those two I want one more.
I want to take my life back. And I want to hold on to it for as long as I can. I know what needs to be done. *
*Warning: if I do actually try to quit, I'll probably post regularly about the hell I'm going through, as I've been smoking for 15 years... wish me luck, and please be patient with me. It's gonna be a rough ride....
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