The Greatest Lover of All Time

This is not a blog about men nor relationships, albeit I have had both, and many of which. And although it shall not the driving force of my writings, it is a great influence.

It is hard to love and be loved when you do not know which ground it is that your feet stand upon. This ever-shifting lack of knowledge and understanding of oneself can leave a person empty, even if they are surrounded with all of the necessary ingredients to be whole. I know this, and you should too.

Many men have crossed my path over the years. Some were able to keep me, some had to let go, most have been forgotten. All in all though, they left an imprint, somewhere, somehow, leaving me to figure out who this person is that I am today.

"Every soul takes on a part of that which it comes into contact with."

There has only been one, however, that is worth writing about. He was the greatest lover of all time.

Why?

Because he invades my dreams. My soul is telling me that I can't let go, even though my heart and my brain have already.

I met him when I didn't want to meet anyone. I have spent 12 years in long relationships with different men (4 years, 5 years, and 3 years, consecutively) and I am at a point in my life where I am the only person I care to tend to. But then I met him, and I fell harder and faster than I care to admit. And it shames me, because this is not who (and how) I want to be.

In my past I have made too many decisions influenced by the man (or men) in my life. I have ignored myself in the pursuit of love, er, rather, the pursuit of keeping that someone else happy, content, satisfied with me.

And so I have chosen to turn away.

He might be that perfect person for me, but I will never know. I will not walk that path again. I can not walk that path again.

Oh how I wish I had never met him, yet.

So here's to saying goodbye to a dream; a dream that has haunted me since the day we met, and will probably continue to do so. But it's okay.

Why?

Because I have learned one other important life lesson through my adventures... Time is a beautiful gift, and with it the truth will always reveal itself.

Whatever that truth may be.....