Dear Destiny,
I just wanted to drop you a note, to let you to know that I'm not turning my back on you, but the time has come for me to take matters in my life into my own hands. I do not care to wait and see what you have next in store for me; I'd like to be a bit more in control than that.
Besides, I don't even know if you're real. You're kinda like God; all powerful with absolutely no proof of existence. I can't have such a thing influence my decisions so.
I think the idea of you is wonderful, and it's helped me through much in the past, but today is about the future, and that future is important to me.
So feel free to make your presence felt whenever you have a spare moment, and in the meantime, I'll be doing my thing.
I wish you well, and perhaps our paths will cross again someday. Until then, you take good care.
All my best.
Kindest regards,
The Lover
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Okay ladies, listen up
So I'm going to break something down here, and it's from experience, so listen closely. I don't want to spend more time on this than is necessary.
I'm sick of it, you're sick of it, we're all sick of it, asking the same old question: Why doesn't he call me?
Now listen closely ...... It's because he's just not that into you. (!!)
If you catch a man's attention, you'll know. If he wants to speak to you, he will. And if he wants your number, he'll get it. When you tickle a man's fancy, there's very little he won't do to see you again.
Enough with asking yourself what more you can do; you're wasting your time, energy, and self-respect. And I say that with love.
Haven't you ever been pursued by someone you didn't want to be pursued by? Has repetitive phone calls and emails ever changed that?
So why would you think that things don't affect them the same way?
When I first started dating my last boyfriend, it was a few months after we had met at a party of his (which my sister brought me to). I had gotten his email address, as I was collecting them from almost everyone, because I was three days away from leaving NYC to move to Seoul, and I wanted to stay in touch with the people whom I had just met. After sending my first couple mass emails upon arrival to South Korea, I removed people from the list who weren't responding. He was one of them.
Six months later, I was back in NYC and hanging out with my sister when we saw him again. The three of us went out for dinner, and as we walked back to her car he told me that his email address no longer worked. I took that as: you won't be able to reach me via email. And I was right to read it this way, because that is how he meant it.
I was only in NYC for three weeks (because I was due to head off to Madrid) and so one day, when I was bored early in that stay, I looked through my phone book and saw that he had given me his number alongside his email address six months prior. I figured that it would be fun to grab a drink, so I gave him a call. When he answered, he was laying in his bed watching tv. When he realized that it was me calling, he sat up, cleared his throat, and it was as if it was a different person speaking all of a sudden. It was really quite funny.
He told me that he'd be at a restaurant/bar not far from where I was staying, so we made plans to meet up. I brought a girlfriend along and made our way over when it was time.
We didn't see him when we arrived, so we got a table and proceeded to look through the menu. Not two minutes into it, a chair was pulled up to a side of our square table and he plopped down into it. He let us know that he was up at the bar with his friends and offered to get us a drink. We said yes, he got them, and proceeded to sit with us as we ate, leaving his friends up at the bar.
As we sat there and chatted as we ate, I kept catching his glances at me. I wasn't yet sure about how I felt about him though, so I just kept eating and talking, trying to pretend like I didn't notice. Next thing I knew though, he reached down underneath the table and pulled my chair in closer to his. Well, at least at this point I knew how he was feeling about me. But whatever, guys are guys are guys, and I was still not in the mood for this kind of advance.
We eventually finished our meal and joined him and his friends at the bar. We all drank, and talked, and laughed, and the night was off to a great start. Eventually though, like all great women do, I had to pee. So I got up and walked down the hall towards the bathrooms. As I approached them, he came out of one, and without a moment's notice, he grabbed me and kissed me right there, next to the toilet stalls and umbrellas.
Skipping now to the end of the night (and no, I'm not skipping any juicy details), we all left the restaurant and stood on its porch to figure out where to go next. I sat down to smoke a cigarette, and he sat down right next to me, offering his warmth in the winter's chill.
We ended up heading back to the apartment where my friend and I were staying, and once again, as we were all inside drinking away and laughing at each other's stories, he found me in the hallway and once again, grabbed me tight and kissed me.
But none of that was how he got me.
He got me because several days later I was studying for a Spanish test that I was taking that evening, and I had studied all day and hadn't eaten; I was at his apartment hanging out (and studying) and as I was running out the door to take the test he ran after me, with a sandwich, saying that he knew I'd be hungry soon...
So what I have to say is this: just like you are willing to go that extra mile for the man of your liking, so too will a man.
So forget about the great sex that you two might have had. (I know, it's hard.) But just as guys are guys are guys, sex is sex is sex. Get your rocks off, have some fun, but don't fall into the trap of thinking that just because you had him in bed that he belongs in your heart.
Besides, it's important to get to know someone before you can consider them in that way (and vice-versa; he needs to get to know you!). And sure, we can read into things and see that he might be a good person, with a good sense of humor (and greaaat in bed) but let's stop reading in so deep. How about we just deal with men the way they are, one by one, instead of dealing with how we'd like them to be.
I promise, it's a lot easier that way.
And by all means, be as honest as you like when you're face to face, but beware of hidden expectations and reciprocations. Trust me, it's no fun admitting to a guy that you like him and not hear the same thing back.
So having said that, I hope that I haven't offended the shy or busy people out there who might now hate me for saying these things. But this is how I see it. If a man isn't making an effort to be in touch, then he's just not that into you. And that's ok. That means you don't spend your time wondering and waiting, or worse: sending emails and leaving messages that will never be returned. (I'd like to see a show of hands of people who wish there was a 'make that email disappear from his inbox' button.)
So, be smart, have fun, and don't let the man get you down.
Happy Wednesday. ;)
I'm sick of it, you're sick of it, we're all sick of it, asking the same old question: Why doesn't he call me?
Now listen closely ...... It's because he's just not that into you. (!!)
If you catch a man's attention, you'll know. If he wants to speak to you, he will. And if he wants your number, he'll get it. When you tickle a man's fancy, there's very little he won't do to see you again.
Enough with asking yourself what more you can do; you're wasting your time, energy, and self-respect. And I say that with love.
Haven't you ever been pursued by someone you didn't want to be pursued by? Has repetitive phone calls and emails ever changed that?
So why would you think that things don't affect them the same way?
When I first started dating my last boyfriend, it was a few months after we had met at a party of his (which my sister brought me to). I had gotten his email address, as I was collecting them from almost everyone, because I was three days away from leaving NYC to move to Seoul, and I wanted to stay in touch with the people whom I had just met. After sending my first couple mass emails upon arrival to South Korea, I removed people from the list who weren't responding. He was one of them.
Six months later, I was back in NYC and hanging out with my sister when we saw him again. The three of us went out for dinner, and as we walked back to her car he told me that his email address no longer worked. I took that as: you won't be able to reach me via email. And I was right to read it this way, because that is how he meant it.
I was only in NYC for three weeks (because I was due to head off to Madrid) and so one day, when I was bored early in that stay, I looked through my phone book and saw that he had given me his number alongside his email address six months prior. I figured that it would be fun to grab a drink, so I gave him a call. When he answered, he was laying in his bed watching tv. When he realized that it was me calling, he sat up, cleared his throat, and it was as if it was a different person speaking all of a sudden. It was really quite funny.
He told me that he'd be at a restaurant/bar not far from where I was staying, so we made plans to meet up. I brought a girlfriend along and made our way over when it was time.
We didn't see him when we arrived, so we got a table and proceeded to look through the menu. Not two minutes into it, a chair was pulled up to a side of our square table and he plopped down into it. He let us know that he was up at the bar with his friends and offered to get us a drink. We said yes, he got them, and proceeded to sit with us as we ate, leaving his friends up at the bar.
As we sat there and chatted as we ate, I kept catching his glances at me. I wasn't yet sure about how I felt about him though, so I just kept eating and talking, trying to pretend like I didn't notice. Next thing I knew though, he reached down underneath the table and pulled my chair in closer to his. Well, at least at this point I knew how he was feeling about me. But whatever, guys are guys are guys, and I was still not in the mood for this kind of advance.
We eventually finished our meal and joined him and his friends at the bar. We all drank, and talked, and laughed, and the night was off to a great start. Eventually though, like all great women do, I had to pee. So I got up and walked down the hall towards the bathrooms. As I approached them, he came out of one, and without a moment's notice, he grabbed me and kissed me right there, next to the toilet stalls and umbrellas.
Skipping now to the end of the night (and no, I'm not skipping any juicy details), we all left the restaurant and stood on its porch to figure out where to go next. I sat down to smoke a cigarette, and he sat down right next to me, offering his warmth in the winter's chill.
We ended up heading back to the apartment where my friend and I were staying, and once again, as we were all inside drinking away and laughing at each other's stories, he found me in the hallway and once again, grabbed me tight and kissed me.
But none of that was how he got me.
He got me because several days later I was studying for a Spanish test that I was taking that evening, and I had studied all day and hadn't eaten; I was at his apartment hanging out (and studying) and as I was running out the door to take the test he ran after me, with a sandwich, saying that he knew I'd be hungry soon...
So what I have to say is this: just like you are willing to go that extra mile for the man of your liking, so too will a man.
So forget about the great sex that you two might have had. (I know, it's hard.) But just as guys are guys are guys, sex is sex is sex. Get your rocks off, have some fun, but don't fall into the trap of thinking that just because you had him in bed that he belongs in your heart.
Besides, it's important to get to know someone before you can consider them in that way (and vice-versa; he needs to get to know you!). And sure, we can read into things and see that he might be a good person, with a good sense of humor (and greaaat in bed) but let's stop reading in so deep. How about we just deal with men the way they are, one by one, instead of dealing with how we'd like them to be.
I promise, it's a lot easier that way.
And by all means, be as honest as you like when you're face to face, but beware of hidden expectations and reciprocations. Trust me, it's no fun admitting to a guy that you like him and not hear the same thing back.
So having said that, I hope that I haven't offended the shy or busy people out there who might now hate me for saying these things. But this is how I see it. If a man isn't making an effort to be in touch, then he's just not that into you. And that's ok. That means you don't spend your time wondering and waiting, or worse: sending emails and leaving messages that will never be returned. (I'd like to see a show of hands of people who wish there was a 'make that email disappear from his inbox' button.)
So, be smart, have fun, and don't let the man get you down.
Happy Wednesday. ;)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
An Unidentifiable Shadow
I'm out on the porch again, and a strange shadow caught my eye.
It was round, and floated side to side; it was no bird or bee.
I looked up, and lo and behold, it was the beautiful white Forrest Gump feather floating down to me from above.
It danced around in the breeze, seemingly headed straight for me, and just when it was within arm's reach, a gust lifted it back up and off, and into the woods.
So, what, should I be thinking that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get?
Yeah, I can groove with that. Because it's true. Just because Forrest Gump said it, that doesn't mean that I can't agree.
And on that note, I leave you with another memorable quote:
Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
Forrest Gump: Who I'm gonna be?
Jenny Curran: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: Aren't-aren't I going to be me?
It was round, and floated side to side; it was no bird or bee.
I looked up, and lo and behold, it was the beautiful white Forrest Gump feather floating down to me from above.
It danced around in the breeze, seemingly headed straight for me, and just when it was within arm's reach, a gust lifted it back up and off, and into the woods.
So, what, should I be thinking that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get?
Yeah, I can groove with that. Because it's true. Just because Forrest Gump said it, that doesn't mean that I can't agree.
And on that note, I leave you with another memorable quote:
Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
Forrest Gump: Who I'm gonna be?
Jenny Curran: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: Aren't-aren't I going to be me?
The Human Condition - Chapter 4
I'm afraid that this world is suffering from the same delusion.
This idea that love just happens.
I cannot help but hope that once someone sets themselves to such a path they discover that love is not just one simple emotion. It is an amalgamation. It is a journey, whether it is within yourself or with another.
To me, it is equal to saying: I've walked with you, I've spoken to you, I can see and feel you, I trust you.
It is a journey that begins with a certain admiration and honesty. From it grows respect. A little kindness further allows for comfort and security. Add some humor and you'll grow old with laughlines and smiles.
Love doesn't just happen.
It becomes.
This idea that love just happens.
I cannot help but hope that once someone sets themselves to such a path they discover that love is not just one simple emotion. It is an amalgamation. It is a journey, whether it is within yourself or with another.
To me, it is equal to saying: I've walked with you, I've spoken to you, I can see and feel you, I trust you.
It is a journey that begins with a certain admiration and honesty. From it grows respect. A little kindness further allows for comfort and security. Add some humor and you'll grow old with laughlines and smiles.
Love doesn't just happen.
It becomes.
When life gives you lemons, make origami
We're living in a time where the minimal just doesn't cut it anymore. It's not enough anymore to just get your Bachelor's degree; to get your dream job you need your Masters. It's not enough to speak two languages; a third is preferred. And forget just winning the gold; these days want to see you set world records.
That extra mile is what sets us apart and moves us forward nowadays. That extra effort, that extra push, that extra moment. That is where you'll shine.
And that's after making lemonade.
;)
That extra mile is what sets us apart and moves us forward nowadays. That extra effort, that extra push, that extra moment. That is where you'll shine.
And that's after making lemonade.
;)
Monday, August 25, 2008
Writer's block is a b*tch
I wonder how long I'll stare at this blank screen until something comes to me.
This right here would be the curse of being a writer; sometimes you're just not sure of what you want to say.
But you don't need to be a writer to have this happen to you... I imagine that it happens to everyone.
And the problem isn't so much that there is a lack of something to say. Rather, I feel like my mind is flooded with inspiration, and I'm just not sure of what to go with.
It's true; it's late, and I'm tired.
Hahaha.. that wouldn't be the first time I used that excuse.
So forgive me all for using it here on you, but alas, I think it's time to wish you a good night as my eyelids slowly fall lower than they should whilst sitting in this upright position.
So sweet dreams all of you.
I'll be back...
This right here would be the curse of being a writer; sometimes you're just not sure of what you want to say.
But you don't need to be a writer to have this happen to you... I imagine that it happens to everyone.
And the problem isn't so much that there is a lack of something to say. Rather, I feel like my mind is flooded with inspiration, and I'm just not sure of what to go with.
It's true; it's late, and I'm tired.
Hahaha.. that wouldn't be the first time I used that excuse.
So forgive me all for using it here on you, but alas, I think it's time to wish you a good night as my eyelids slowly fall lower than they should whilst sitting in this upright position.
So sweet dreams all of you.
I'll be back...
Friday, August 22, 2008
Life's Continuum
To lose a loved one is to experience the most intense of emotions. Grief.
Of all of the emotions in the world, I feel that this must be the hardest to cope with.
How is someone supposed to wade their way through the deepest of sorrow?
Especially if they have to do it alone.
My mother lost both of her parents when she was seventeen. Her closest friend lost her daughter at the age of eight. My cousin lost her mother in high school.
I know nothing of the strength that has brought them through to today. But I revere them for it, knowing nothing... nothing of their struggle.
I find it hard to find the words that I want to say right now.
I suppose I can only start by telling them that I love them. I love them for their strength, I love them for their perseverance, I love them for allowing tomorrow to come.
My mother told me tonight that life is on a continuum, and that to harbor sadness and regret is to stifle your progress. I know that these were words of wisdom. And so I share these words with you.
Live your life, everyday, and make sure you let the people who matter to you know they matter to you. Take care of yourself, and make sure that no one disrespects or takes for granted your being on this earth. And last, but never never least, love thyself, and be strong. Because life is not intended to be a walk in the park. It is full of situations that you have absolutely no control over, and you must be prepared mentally and emotionally for whatever comes your way.
Before you go to sleep tonight, let someone you care about know. If you're next to them, give them a hug. And don't let the past get in the way of the future... life is too short, and so very precious, for that...
And so I go to sleep tonight, thinking of you, my friends, my family. I send you all my love and know that you are all in my hearts, every single last one of you.
*hug*
Of all of the emotions in the world, I feel that this must be the hardest to cope with.
How is someone supposed to wade their way through the deepest of sorrow?
Especially if they have to do it alone.
My mother lost both of her parents when she was seventeen. Her closest friend lost her daughter at the age of eight. My cousin lost her mother in high school.
I know nothing of the strength that has brought them through to today. But I revere them for it, knowing nothing... nothing of their struggle.
I find it hard to find the words that I want to say right now.
I suppose I can only start by telling them that I love them. I love them for their strength, I love them for their perseverance, I love them for allowing tomorrow to come.
My mother told me tonight that life is on a continuum, and that to harbor sadness and regret is to stifle your progress. I know that these were words of wisdom. And so I share these words with you.
Live your life, everyday, and make sure you let the people who matter to you know they matter to you. Take care of yourself, and make sure that no one disrespects or takes for granted your being on this earth. And last, but never never least, love thyself, and be strong. Because life is not intended to be a walk in the park. It is full of situations that you have absolutely no control over, and you must be prepared mentally and emotionally for whatever comes your way.
Before you go to sleep tonight, let someone you care about know. If you're next to them, give them a hug. And don't let the past get in the way of the future... life is too short, and so very precious, for that...
And so I go to sleep tonight, thinking of you, my friends, my family. I send you all my love and know that you are all in my hearts, every single last one of you.
*hug*
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